Sexual Assault Services of Northwest New Mexico

24/7 Hotline: 505-326-4700

Curriculum Resources

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ALR Worksheet Review

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Education is the best way to provide communities with the tools to prevent and respond ​to sexual abuse. For inquiries or concerns about “Ask. Listen. Respect,” please contact:

Sexual Assault Services of

Northwest New Mexico’s

Prevention Education Coordinator

505-325-2805

advocacy@sasnwnm.org

Hotline Resources

Child (<18 years) Abuse and Neglect Reporting: New Mexico Statewide Central Intake

Every person who knows or has reasonable suspicion that a child (under the age of 18) is being abused or neglected in New Mexico must report the matter immediately to CYFD’s Statewide Central Intake child abuse hotline. Reports can be anonymous if preferred.

For life-threatening emergencies, call 911.

Call: 1-855-333-7233 [SAFE] or #SAFE from a cell phone

Text: ‘Reach NM’ to 505-591-9444

OR Call Law Enforcement (Non-Emergency Dispatch): 505-334-6622

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline

The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline Crisis has counselors available 24/7 to answer questions, provide resources & support, and talk through difficult situations; they can also help research additional resources that may be available.

Call or Text: 1-800-422-4453

Chat online: https://www.childhelphotline.org

NOTE: If you need to report Abuse/Neglect, please reach out to New Mexico Statewide Central Intake ( 1-855-333-7233). For life-threatening emergencies, call 911.

CyberTip - NCMEC

The CyberTipline is the place to report child sexual exploitation. Making a report is secure and easy. The form can be completed in just a few minutes, and you decide if you want to share your contact information. In fact, many of the fields are optional so what information you provide, is up to you

Report online: https://report.cybertip.org/

Take It Down - NCMEC

This service is one step you can take to help remove online nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit photos and videos taken before you were 18.

Get started here: https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/

Dating Abuse Helpline (Love is Respect)

Offers confidential support for teens, young adults, and their loved ones seeking help, resources, or information. For life-threatening emergencies, call 911.

Call: 1-866-331-9474 or Text: “LOVEIS” to 22522 or Chat Online: https://www.loveisrespect.org

Domestic Violence: Family Crisis Center (Farmington)

Domestic Violence Shelter and Center serving San Juan County.

For life-threatening emergencies, call 911.

Call: 505-564-9192 or Toll Free: 1-888-440-9192

Domestic Violence: The Hotline

Provides compassionate support, crisis intervention information, education, and referral services.

Call: 1- 800-799-7233 (SAFE) or Text: “START” to 88788 or Chat: https://www.thehotline.org

Human Trafficking Resource Center

If you or someone you know is a victim of human trafficking, call the National Human Trafficking Hotline. Anti-Trafficking Hotline Advocates are available 24/7 to take reports of potential human trafficking.

Call: 1-888-373-7888 (TTY: 711) or Chat Online: www.humantraffickinghotline.org

LGBTQ+ Resource (Trevor Project)

Provides crisis support services to LGBTQ+ people. For life-threatening emergencies, call 911.

Call: 1-866-488-7386 or Text: “START” to 678-678 or Chat Online: https://www.thetrevorproject.org

Mental Health (Crisis): New Mexico Crisis and Access Line

Call to connect with a counselor if you or a loved one is experiencing any kind of emotional crisis, mental health or substance use concern. For life-threatening emergencies, call 911.

Call: 988 or 1-855-662-7474 (NMCRISIS) | TTY: 1-855-227-5485; Dial 711 for relay

Mental Health (Non-Crisis): New Mexico Peer-to-Peer Warmline

Peer Support Workers (people with lived experience) provide non-crisis support to New Mexicans who are just wanting someone to talk to about emotional, mental health, or substance use concerns. Available 7am – 11:30pm.

Call or Text: 1-855-466-7100; Dial 711 for relay (hearing & speech impaired)

Native American Helpline (StrongHearts)

A safe and confidential domestic violence and dating violence helpline for Native Americans and Alaska Natives, offering culturally-appropriate support and advocacy.

Call: 1-844-762-8483 (NATIVE) or Chat Online: https://strongheartshelpline.org

Runaway Safeline

Connects youth who have run away or who are experiencing homelessness with a trusted, compassionate person who will listen and help you create a plan to address your concerns, and connect you with resources and needed.

Call: 1-800-786-2929 or Chat Online: https://www.1800runaway.org/youth-teens/get-help

Sexual Assault Services of Northwest New Mexico (Farmington)

Rape Crisis Center serving San Juan, McKinley, and Rio Arriba Counties and surrounding areas by providing confidential support and resources to sexual assault victims/survivors and their loved ones. Advocates are available 24/7, every day of the year.

Call: 505-326-4700 or 1-866-908-4700

Sexual Assault: RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)

National sexual assault hotline providing confidential support to sexual assault survivors and their loved ones.

Call: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) or Chat Online: https://hotline.rainn.org/online

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Provides support for people in distress as well as prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones.

Call: 988 or 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) or Chat Online: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

Community Resources

These are resources in San Juan County to help you take care of your health and well-being.

Sexual Assault Services of Northwest New Mexico: 505-326-4700

What is ​Consent?

• When someone gives consent, they’re giving permission for ​something to happen or agreeing to do something.
  

• This means they need to know specifically what they’re ​agreeing to — so make sure what you’re asking is clear.
  

For example, “Do you want to mess around for a while? Like ​cuddling and making out, but not having sex?”

Adapted from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center

When and How to ​Ask for Consent

• Always ask for consent before you begin any sexual ​activity, including kissing, cuddling, and any kind of sex ​— even if your partner consented in the past.

• Always ask for consent before changing the type of ​sexual activity.

• Ask in a way that makes it clear it would be okay if they ​said “no” — otherwise you might be pressuring them to ​do something they don’t want to do.
  

For example, “Can I kiss you?”

Adapted from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center

What is NOT ​Consent?

• Your partner may not tell you “no,” but that doesn’t mean they’re ​saying “yes.”

• If someone says nothing, “um… I guess,” or an unsure “yes,” ​they’re likely communicating that they don’t really want to do the ​thing you’re asking about.
  

In these cases, you don’t have clear consent. Check in with your ​partner about how they’re feeling, or suggest another activity.

For example, “You seem unsure, so why don’t we just watch TV tonight?”

Adapted from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Any sexual ​contact ​without ​consent is ​sexual ​assault

Helpful Tips ​with Consent

Consent & ​Texting

• Just because technology connects us 24/7 doesn’t ​mean that your partner is always available.

• Some people enjoy rapid-fire text conversations, ​while others only like to text to make plans.
  

• Check in with your partner about how often you ​would like to text each other and what you ​consider a reasonable amount of time to ​respond.
  

For example, “How do you feel about texting at work? ​I’m cool with it, but I also have a lot of down time.”

Adapted from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Consent & ​Sharing Online

• Ask your partner how they feel about you sharing ​and tagging photos of them and posting about ​your relationship online.

• Find out if they’d like to see what you’re posting ​first, or maybe they’re okay with you sharing ​without asking every time.
  

For example, “I love this picture from our last date. Is it ​OK if I post it to Instagram?”

Adapted from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Consent & ​Sexting

• Sexting means sending sexual photos, videos, or ​messages from your phone or computer.

• Not everyone feels comfortable sexting, and that’s okay ​— there are good reasons to have concerns about ​sharing a private image.
  

• It’s never okay to send unwanted sexts — even to a ​long-term partner.
  

Adapted from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Consent ​Violations

• If someone shares a nude photo with you, ​don’t share it with anyone.

• Sharing intimate photos with someone they ​weren’t meant for is a violation of trust and ​could be illegal.
  

• It can also be a crime to store or share ​sexual photos of someone under 18, even if ​you are also under 18.
  

Adapted from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Sexual Assault Services of Northwest New Mexico: 505-326-4700

Healthy & Unhealthy ​Relationships

All relationships (including friendships and romantic ​interests) exist on a spectrum from healthy to abusive, with ​unhealthy relationships somewhere in the middle.

A healthy relationship does not mean a “perfect” ​relationship, and no one is healthy 100% of the time. While ​everyone does unhealthy things sometimes, we can all ​learn to love better by recognizing unhealthy signs and ​shifting to healthy behaviors.

Adapted from LoveIsRespect and OneLove

Relationship Spectrum

Adapted from LoveIsRespect

Comfortable Pace

Trust

Honesty

Independence

Respect

Equality

Kindness

Taking Responsibility

Healthy Conflict

Fun

Unhealthy relationships ​are based on attempts to ​control the other person.

One person tries to make most of the ​decisions. They may pressure their ​partner about sex or refuse to see how ​their actions cause harm. In an ​unhealthy relationship, you feel like you ​should only spend time with your partner.

If you are seeing unhealthy signs in ​your relationship, it’s important to ​not ignore them and understand they ​can escalate to abuse.

Adapted from LoveIsRespect and OneLove

Intensity

Possessiveness

Manipulation

Isolation

Sabotage

Belittling

Guilting

Volatility

Deflecting Responsibility

Betrayal

Abusive relationships are ​based on an imbalance ​of power & control.

One person is making all the decisions— about ​sexual choices, friend groups, boundaries, ​even what’s true and what’s not (i.e. ​gaslighting). You spend all of your time ​together and feel like you can’t talk to other ​people, especially about what’s really ​happening in your relationship.

If you don’t feel safe—or if you begin to notice ​any of the warning signs of abuse—it’s ​important you take the necessary steps to ​ensure your ongoing safety.

Adapted from LoveIsRespect

Love Bombing

Physical Abuse

Emotional Abuse

Verbal Abuse

Sexual Abuse

Financial Abuse

Digital Abuse

Cultural Abuse

Spiritual Abuse

Stalking

If you or someone you know might be ​in an abusive relationship, there are ​resources available to help.

Click on the buttons below to learn more.

Advocates are available 24/7 via phone, text, and online chat.

FOR LIFE-THREATENING EMERGENCIES, CALL 911

Sexual Grooming Behaviors

Grooming is the process during which an abuser gains a victim's trust in order to ​sexually abuse them and maintain control and secrecy. The abuser may also ​groom the victim's friends and family by persuading them of their trustworthiness.

TARGETING

The abuser chooses a ​victim.

GAINING TRUST

Gaining trust enables ​the abuser to ​introduce secrecy. ​Abuse continues in ​silence.

FILLING A NEED

Filling a need, such ​as providing ​emotional support, ​allows the abuser to ​bond with the victim.

ISOLATION

Isolating the victim ​from friends and ​loved ones allows the ​abuser to control the ​victim.

DESENSITIZE

The abuser gradually ​introduces and ​escalates activities ​(touching, kissing, ​hugging, showing ​sexually explicit ​content, etc.) to ​desensitize the ​victim.

CONTROL

The abuser controls ​the victim to ensure ​continuation of the ​abuse.

gROOMING rED fLAGS

Below are red flags for Teens to remember regarding ​adults, people in authority, and friends or acquaintances.

• Privately gives you special or personal gifts
  
• Allows you to see pornography
  
• Encourages you to sneak out
  
• Remarks on your physical attributes or development ​(“You look sexy,” for example)
  
• Wants to have deeply personal conversations with you ​about sexual things
  
• Makes uncomfortable touches to private areas
  
• Discusses their own personal problems with you
  
• Encourages you to keep secrets
  
• Threatens you with your mistakes
  
• Shows unnecessary physical affection in public or, ​especially, in private spaces
  
• Seeks or encourages you or others to be alone with the ​adult especially in private areas
  
• Excessively calls, texts or has other contact with you
  
• Asks for nude pictures or shows you nude pics of others
  

How to Report

Sexual Abuse

Anyone adult knows or has reasonable ​suspicion that a person under the age of 18 ​is being abused or neglected in New Mexico ​must report the matter immediately to ​CYFD’s Statewide Central Intake (SCI).

If someone discloses abuse to you:

Believe them. Tell them that it's not their ​fault. Let them know that they did the right ​thing by telling you. Report the abuse to the ​appropriate authorities.

Ways to Report:

Such as a the non-abusing parent, a teacher, an ​adult relative, clergy, or school administrator. As ​mandated reporters, they are required to report ​the suspected abuse or neglect to SCI.

Do not confront or alert the abuser

or #SAFE [7233] from a cellphone

or text "Reach NM" at 505-591-9444

Reporting can be anonymous, but providing ​your information can help with the investigation.

505-334-6622

is the phone number for

San Juan County Non-Emergency Dispatch.

They can then connect you with the

appropriate law enforcement agency,

who will then connect with CYFD.

Indicators of Human Trafficking

Recognizing key indicators of human trafficking is the first step in identifying victims and can help save a ​life. Here are some common indicators to help recognize human trafficking.

• Does the person appear disconnected from family, friends, community organizations, or houses of ​worship?
• Has a person stopped attending school?
• Has the person had a sudden or dramatic change in behavior?
• Is a juvenile engaged in commercial sex acts?
• Is the person disoriented or confused, or showing signs of mental or physical abuse?
• Does the person have bruises in various stages of healing?
• Is the person fearful, timid, or submissive?
• Does the person show signs of having been denied food, water, sleep, or medical care?
• Is the person often in the company of someone to whom he or she defers? Or someone who seems to ​be in control of the situation, e.g., where they go or who they talk to?
• Does the person appear to be coached on what to say?
• Is the person living in unsuitable conditions?
• Does the person lack personal possessions and appear not to have a stable living situation?
• Does the person have freedom of movement? Can the person freely leave where they live? Are there ​unreasonable security measures?

To get help from the National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

or text HELP or INFO to BeFree (233733)

For New Mexico minors suspected of being sex trafficked, call SCI: 1-855-333-7233

Active Upstander Tips

Tell another person

• Being with others is a good idea when a ​situation looks dangerous
  

Ask the person you are worried about if ​they are OK

• Provide options and a listening ear
  

Distract or redirect individuals in unsafe ​situations

Ask the person if they want to leave

• Make sure that they get to a safe place
  

Call the police (911)

Or someone else in authority

• Or yell for help
  

ALR Worksheet Review

Why wouldn’t someone ask for consent?

• Fear of rejection
• Worried about being turned down or told “no”
  
• Fear of image destruction
  
• Worrying about what other people might say or think
  
• Fear of humiliation
  
• Worrying about being made fun of
  

ALR Worksheet Review

Why is asking for consent important?

• Respect for other people’s boundaries
  
• Everyone has the right to personal autonomy
  
• Establishes communication and trust
  
• Creates an open and space for honest dialogue
  
• Prevents harm and ensures everyone’s well-being
  
• Everyone feels safe and cared for
  

ALR Worksheet Review

How do stereotypes affect people?

• Impacts a person’s self-image
  
• Lowers self-esteem; leads to mental health issues
  
• Limits individual potential
  
• Prevents personal growth or pursuing one’s passions
  
• Strains relationship dynamics
  
• Unfair expectations can lead to unhealthy situations
  

ALR Worksheet Review

What does a healthy relationship look like?

• Open & honest communication
  
• Mutual respect
  
• Trust & reliability
  
• Shared values & supporting each other’s goals
  
• Support & empathy for one another
  
• Effective conflict resolution
  

ALR Worksheet Review

What does an abusive relationship look like?

• Power & Control over the other person
  
• Physical, emotional, verbal, and/or sexual abuse
  
• Isolation from friends & family
  
• “Love bombing” or patterns of abusive behavior
  
• Threats & intimidation
  
• Disregard for equality & personal boundaries
  

ALR Worksheet Review

What is grooming?

Series of manipulative behaviors abuser uses to:

• Gain access to a victim
  
• Push & break victim’s boundaries
  
• Sexually abuse or exploit victim, and
  
• Ensure secrecy so they don’t get caught
  

Can take place in-person and/or online

93% of the time, the victim knows who the abuser is

ALR Worksheet Review

What were 3 things you learned this week ​that were the most helpful to you?

This is an open-ended question, but to help get you started, ​here's a recap of the topics discussed in class this week:

Body Language

• Learn about body language and why it's not always reliable
  

Consent

• Understand what consent is and why it’s important, why some ​people don’t ask for consent
  
• Learn about the Age of Consent laws in New Mexico, and what ​it means to be a “Person of Authority”
  

Stereotypes

• Understand what stereotypes are and how they affect people
  

Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships

• Understand what makes relationships healthy or unhealthy
  
• Learn how to get help before the relationship becomes unsafe
  

Abusive Relationships

• Learn the signs of an abusive relationship and how to get help
  

Sexual Abuse & Grooming

• Recognize signs of sexual abuse and grooming behaviors
  
• Learn about resources and ways to report abuse
  

Human Trafficking & Online Abuse

• Learn about signs of human trafficking and online threats
  
• Learn how to stay safe online and discover safety resources
  

Bystander Intervention - Reporting Abuse:

• Learn to listen to your gut/instincts - if something feels ​or seems unsafe, talk to a trusted adult
  
• Understand New Mexico’s Mandated Reporting laws ​and how to report abuse and neglect
• Understand different types of bystanders and how to ​intervene safely
  

Resource Review:

• Become familiar with hotline (national) resources
  
• Learn about community resources
  
• Learn how to access these resources through ​SASNWNM’s Curriculum Resources website